I'm laying here in bed trying to collect my thoughts. SO much going on. I just don't know what to do. Everything seemed to come down at once in the last two weeks. I haven't gone to see my sister. I think I'm just afraid to be with her. I love her like so much but she pisses me off. When and if or whenever she gets out I'll be there for her for emotional support but I'm not given her any more money. I've bought her things and gave her money. Yes I did some...bad things with her but I didn't go too far to me. I had a problem that was my problem. I had to push people out of my life. People that I miss. If I hadn't I wouldn't have gotten through it. Guy tried to "Help" But he just wanted to help me continue it. I felt better though but there have been repercusions. Money and mind wise. I just hope and pray she can find the strength that I have. She's a Christian so she knows deep down God is with her.

As for my dad. He's getting worse. A lot worse. His PCP gave him Vicodan. It doesn't really help. It really just makes you not care. He takes 6oomg of Ibuprofen three times a day and Vicodan 5/500 every 6 hours and a couple of Flexeril as needed. Nothing is really helping. We have decided to go to the ER. But not in town. Somewere in FTW. I will be looking in my books at work to see which DRS work at which hospital and which ones are on his insurance. When I get off of work I'll take care of the animals then we'll grab some food and hit the road. Please be thinking of us. We are going to ask his PCP what he thinks but between us and our family it's all in agreement that it's the best thing. Escpecially when tomorrow is his last paid vacation day. If he misses anymore he'll be docked pay. I DO NOT get paid enough to live off of. But after we get things figured out I will probaly try to find a part time job. I don't know where I can work with the small hours I can. I have to work from 7:30am to sometimes 6pm at the office and I have to get some sleep. Some of my church obligations may have to be put off because my dad is number one. I can pray and read the bible at home but I must make sure my father is taken care of. If anyone reads this and lives in my town. If you know of a good part time job please let me know. I have a load of different skills.

Well I'm going to watch Criminal Minds and chill.

Nite Nite All